This too shall pass

Hours after last Tuesday’s newsletter, our neighborhood had an emergency evacuation from one of the wildfires in L.A.

We live in Pasadena, CA, about six blocks from Altadena, where the Eaton wildfires have pretty much destroyed the entire town, including the homes of friends and also our gardener. 

My husband and I are one of the fortunate ones. We did not lose our house. In fact, we are finally back in our house, even though we’re technically still under an evacuation warning and the water was undrinkable, un-bathable and non dish washable. (The order to use bottled water to brush our teeth, wash our dishes, and even cook was finally lifted late last night. Hurray!) 

My neighbors and I had a conversation about this tug of war between feeling grateful and guilty. 

We had some damage from the wind storm and the soot, ash, and smell of smoke permeated the house as soon as we walked back. However, our house is still standing, so we are very grateful. One neighbor’s giant oak tree was completely uprooted in the storm, and yes, it’s damaged her roof, and yet, her house is still standing. 

We all feel guilty that we need to file insurance claims for what would be considered “minor,” in comparison to losing your home. However, that’s what insurance is there for! To help mitigate those “minor-in-comparison” damages that still cost thousands of dollars to fix. In fact, insurance doesn’t cover “catastrophic events.” That’s when the federal or state step in.

In the last week, I had maybe a hundred texts, emails, DMs and phone calls, and I was so grateful and touched that everyone cared so much. I was numb and shocked in the beginning days, having had to gather up some of my belongings in a hurry. 

What should I take? 

In the end, we took important papers like passports, trust and estate planning docs, bills we still have to pay, our wedding album and framed photos, and necessities like clothes, shoes, and  toiletries. We were fortunate to be able to escape to my parents’ place in Claremont, about 25 miles East of where we live. 

So, we gathered everything and hightailed it out, and while doing so, it was a bit unsettling to 1) feel like this may be the last time we would see our house and the rest of our belongings we were leaving behind and

2) That so many of my neighbors to the north were all driving together in a long line of cars towards the freeway in a mass exodus. 

We said bye to the neighbors we saw. We called other ones to make sure they had places to go. 

In the next couple of days, it was a waiting game. 

While the Palisades and Eaton fires grew to cover 1000, then 5000, then 10,000 and currently over 23,000 and 14,000 acres, respectively, we kept checking to see how close it was getting to our home.

How much of it was contained? For days, it still said 0% contained, when we checked the Watch Duty app. And boy, did we check that app 20, maybe even 50 times a day! 

As of this writing, the Palisades fire is only 14% contained, while the one closer to us, Eaton, is 33% contained. 

Physically, we were safe, warm and fed by my parents. 

Mentally, we were exhausted from checking in, watching the news, and wrecking our routines.

Emotionally, we were trying to hold it together, as we found out about friends who had lost their homes and everything they’ve worked so hard for. As much as some people talk about the “rich” and “famous,” Los Angeles is a city like any other city in the United States. There are wealthy people and areas and not so wealthy. 

I would say Altadena is very middle-class. Sure, there are million dollar plus homes there, but that’s because the median listing price in Los Angeles is $965,000. Our next door neighbor moved about 5 or 6 years ago to Altadena after she had two kids and wanted a bigger house with a slightly lower price point. 

Altadena was where our favorite pizza places were. One was called Side Pie, born out of the owner’s desire to make an awesome brick oven pizza and slide it through a slit in the side of his house! The restaurant, which burned down, was newly permitted. It had this giant brick oven pizza oven outside with a Grateful Dead logo. 

Altadena was a bit hippy (i.e. Grateful Dead). It was also somewhat punk rock and rap (we saw a member of Beastie Boys at Side Pie once). It also had a small town feel to it because the major chains did not really permeate it, for the most part. No McDonald’s or Starbucks. 

I am sad, but I am also reminded of this parable that was shared as part of my Financial Freedom for Creatives Club:

Parable

There was a king and he once said to the court sages – I have a ring with one of the finest diamonds in the world and I want to hide a message under the stone that can be useful in a situation of extreme despair.  I will give this ring to my heirs and I want it to serve faithfully. 

Think of what kind of message will be there.  It must be very short to fit in the ring.

The sages knew how to write treatises, but did not express themselves in one short sentence.  They thought and thought, but did not come up with anything.

The king complained about the failure of his venture to a faithful old servant who raised him from infancy and was part of the family. 

And the old man said to him:“I’m not a sage, I’m not educated, but I know such a message. For many years spent in the palace, I met a lot of people. And once I served a visiting mystic whom your father invited. And he gave me this message. 

I ask that you don’t read it now. Save it under the stone and open it only when there’s no way out at all. The king listened to the old servant.

After some time, the enemies attacked the country and the king lost the war.  He fled on his horse and his enemies pursued him. 

He was alone, his enemies were many. He rode to the end of the road.  There was a huge deep cliff before him, if he fell there, it is the end. 

He could not go back, as the enemies were approaching. He already heard the clatter of their horses’ hooves. 

He had no way out.  He was in complete despair. And then he remembered the ring. 

He opened it and found an inscription: “This too shall pass.”

After reading the message, he felt that everything was quiet.  Apparently the pursuers got lost and proceeded in the wrong direction. Horses were no longer heard.

The king was filled with gratitude to the servant and the unknown mystic. The words were powerful.  He closed the ring.  And set out on the road.  He gathered his army and returned his state.

On the day when he returned to the palace, they arranged a magnificent meeting, a feast for the whole world – the people loved their king. The king was happy and proud.

An old servant came up to him and said softly: “Even in this moment, look at the message again.”

The King said, “Now I am a winner, people are celebrating my return, I’m not in despair, not in a hopeless situation.”

“Listen to this old servant,” the servant answered. “The message works not only in moments when everything is bad, but also in moments of victory.”

The king opened the ring and read:”This too shall pass.”

And again he felt a silence fall over him, although he was in the midst of a noisy dancing crowd.  His pride dissolved.  He understood the message.  He was a wise man.

And then the old man said to the king; “Do you remember everything that happened to you? Nothing and no feeling is permanent. As night changes to day, so moments of joy and despair replace each other. Accept them as the nature of things, as part of life.”

“This too shall pass.”  Those words have been strangely comforting. What was also comforting were the words of the FFCC members, and their experiences with this phrase.

With Love & Gratitude,