I'm not the money coach you expect
In another attempt to kick inflation to the curb, the Federal Reserve raised interest rates again last week by another 0.75%. If you want a detailed breakdown of what this means for you and your money, I wrote this blog post back in September, during the last rate hike.
Today, though, I’m not going to write about the economy, debt or anything of the sort, because it’s not really what I do when I work with clients or members of the Financial Freedom for Creatives Club.
In fact, when most people sign up for a Discovery Call with me, listen to me on a podcast, attend a workshop or a masterclass training, I often hear afterwards,
“Well, that’s not what I expected!”
When I ask what they expected, they usually say, “I thought we would talk about the numbers, like debts, savings, or retirement, or even money mindset.
...Instead, I had an aha moment that 10 years of therapy hasn’t uncovered!”
Yes, we get deep. If you have ever attended my free 5 day challenges, I usually ask for a volunteer to coach, and in about 10 minutes, there’s a breakthrough moment. In the last challenge, someone who signed up for the FFCC membership said, “If you can give such a breakthrough to someone in that amount of time, imagine what I can uncover by working with you for a year!”
Here are some of the things I don’t believe in, as a money coach:
I don’t believe that spending money on avocado toast or fancy coffee is what’s keeping you from financial freedom.
I don’t believe that you need a budget to keep yourself in line and accountable.
And I really don’t believe that you have to have a boring job that you don’t love in order to make money and be financially free.
But it starts with something sooo much deeper! It starts with YOU. Who are you? How did you grow up? What did you learn about money as a child, observing your parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles?
As children, we don’t understand the concept of money. I played Monopoly a lot as a kid, and I NEVER equated it to real money. Instead, here’s what I learned about money, by observing my parents and grandparents…
First, my parents fought a lot about money. My mom spent it, while my dad was, well…his words not mine…cheap. So, lesson #1: Money makes people fight, especially when you have very differing views on money.
Next, my maternal grandfather used to give, even if he didn’t have the money. My mom told me stories about how relatives would come over and they would leave with furniture and cash. They were always asking him for money, knowing that he would give it. So, lesson #2: Don’t let people take advantage of you. Having money and being too generous can make you a target.
Opposite of my maternal grandfather, my paternal grandmother had a lot of money, but she was always worried about others taking it. She would say stuff like, “When I die, I’m going to cash it all out and be buried with it. No one will get my money.” So, lesson #3: Money makes people weird, and you can’t take it with you when you go, so it’s better to spend it now.
I have a few other stories, but those were some of the major lessons I got around money, and to be honest, they’re not great lessons. Instead, they formed what I call “money blocks.”
My money blocks lead me to spend way too much money in college, buying drinks, going to fancy restaurants, taking cabs, and just “living it up,” in NYC because heck, you only live once, and you can’t take it with you, so you might as well enjoy it now and not let it stand in your way.
And because I had these money stories, or blocks, I didn’t save, and I was living paycheck to paycheck, for most of my 20s.
If I had spent time budgeting or looking at debts and trying to save, I wouldn’t have been very successful at it because of those deeper beliefs that I held. I mean what’s the point of saving, when I didn’t want money to mean everything, like my grandmother? Budgeting would’ve felt like I was my “cheap” dad, and debts, well that just comes with living my best life, right?
So, that’s why I do it differently, and why I love being a coach, a mentor and a teacher, rather than a financial planner. Because without diving into who you are and what your deeply unconscious beliefs are around money, knowing all of the other financial stuff doesn’t help.
However, I do have to warn you. Once you uncover the blocks, then it IS time to apply some of the practical steps too. Since money isn’t something we can take with us when we transition, we have to apply practical principles to it and understand how the world has set it up, so that we can play the game well. It’s like Monopoly. You can only skip steps or get out of jail for free, if you know what you need to do.
Now, what’s your first step? How about taking my FREE Money Personality Quiz? It’s a way for you to start to ask the questions – who are you and what’s your story around money? It’s also a great way for you to look at how your unique personality helps or hurts you, when it comes to achieving true financial freedom. Just click below to get started.
With Gratitude,
